The pharmacist in a football shirt and baseball cap in front of me explains that he’s covered his shop with posters from the estate agent, to try to boost his profit without doing any work. And, he helpfully adds, he has stashed some wool in his consultation room, so that he can sell something the supermarkets do not offer.

Fortunately, I am amused rather than aghast. The pharmacist is actually Ash Pandya, chief executive of Essex Local Pharmaceutical Committee, playing a character in a short skit with John Zucker, partner and director at Matthew Arnold and Baldwin Solicitors, at the Sigma conference in Aamby Valley City, India, which took place from 14–22 February 2015.

Among a plethora of dad-meets-pharmacy jokes (PSNC = Pharmacists Should Not Complain!), the pair share a lot of valuable and practical advice for pharmacists trying to develop their business to support patients and boost their bottom lines.